Pub 54, Day 21 – The Roebuck

By Andy

Some pubs have good memories. Some pubs have bad memories. While The Nailmakers Arms was the place in which my parents met, and the Nottingham House played host to my incredible Connect Four triumph; The Roebuck was the scene of one of the most traumatic moments of my life.

The year was 2006. I was 16, a slightly awkward teenager yet to blossom into the slightly awkward adult I am today. One day, the unthinkable happened: a girl asked me out. Not only that, but she actually wanted to meet in the evening, as opposed to the usual cinema & McDonald's dates I had been on before. This was it.

“I know a guy that works at the Roebuck Tavern,” she explained. “He'll serve us all night!”

I borrowed my dad's aftershave. I crammed enough condoms into my pocket to last a sexual health clinic for several months.

Alas, the whole thing was a facade. I was nothing more than Plan B.

Despite my best efforts, she spent the entire evening fluttering her eyelashes at her friend behind the bar. Try as I might, she refused to sit further than a yard from him, lest he start talking to someone else.

How could I compete? He was 19, he had stubble.

Eventually, I took the hint and got a taxi home. Alone.

***

“It's been ten years. Perhaps you could give it a second chance?” suggested Rob, tentatively.

I took a deep breath and stepped through the door. Would she still be there, playing with her hair and laughing at an unnatural volume? Would Rob abandon me and finish Pubquest with a member of staff?

Thankfully, the place was quiet, and the barman showed no interest in stealing my companion.

Somewhat relieved, I eyed up the beers. Eschewing the local breweries for once, we chose Oxford Best Traditional Bitter. On my previous visit, I had spent the night drinking pear cider – how times change.

Any further flashbacks were forgotten when we spotted that The Roebuck had not one, but two pool tables! To mix things up, we played our first game on one table, and our second on the other.

I won the first frame. Rob won the next. Clearly, we needed a decider. The problem is, after revolutionising the rules of pool at The Graduate, normal pool just doesn't do it for us anymore. We need a way to get the adrenaline pumping.

The answer was staring us in the face: Double Pool.

The pool tables were both unoccupied. The only thing restricting us to one game at a time was society's expectation. Undeterred, we placed a coin in both tables at once, and so created a sport that's twice as fun.

The rules of Double Pool are a little complicated so I'll talk you through them slowly:

1. You play two games of pool
2. AT ONCE!

Rob was slower to adapt to our radical rule-change, and so I emerged victorious on both tables – and with it became the inaugral World Double Pool Champion.

Perhaps now that we've transformed the sporting world forever, I can look back on The Roebuck with happier memories. After all, the pub boasts a fine selection of beers, ample space (both indoors and outdoors), a pair of pool tables and an appetising food menu.

Having said all that, I wouldn't take my girlfriend along. I might never see her again...

Roebuck pool score: Andy 3-1 Rob

Pubquest pool score: Andy 40-28 Rob

Pub: The Roebuck (72 Charles Street, S1 2NB)

Rating: 8/10

Pint: Oxford Best Traditional Bitter

Brewery: White Horse Brewery (Faringdon, Oxfordshire)

NEXT UP: Murder mysteries, at The Mulberry Tavern...