Pub 72, Day 28 – The Sportsman

By Andy

The key part about visiting every pub in Sheffield, is that you have to visit every pub in Sheffield.

However, like a toddler refusing to eat his greens, we had so far shoved all the scary pubs to the side of our plate.

Tonight though, we had made a pact: no more dessert until we'd finished our broccoli.

“Where do you wanna go then?” asked Rob. “Manor? Parson Cross? What's that terrifying pub in town with a permanent drug dealer outside?”

I gulped. He was referring to the Hen & Chickens. He was right though: we couldn't keep putting it off.

“I guess I'll book us a taxi then,” I muttered, a sense of trepidation settling in my stomach.

“City Taxis, Gavin speaking.”

“H-Hello, I'd like to book a taxi from Gleadless please.”

“As soon as possible?” he enquired, his cheery tone contrasting with the dread in my voice.

I paused. I looked at Rob. He nodded, grimly.

“Yes.”

“And where is it you're going?”

“The H-... The He-...” The words wouldn't come out.

Just then Rob's girlfriend Hannah entered the room. “I'm going to my yoga class in a minute if you want a lift to Crosspool?”

A wave of relief cascaded over me. My fear was suddenly replaced with the zest for life which typically consumes those who have survived plane crashes or beaten a particularly deadly disease.

I apologised to Gavin and hung up. Why would we waste money on a taxi when we could get to Crosspool for free?

***

The Sportsman is somewhat imposing from the outside, but oozes warmth from within. We chose two pints of Summer Lightning, and even though the summer evenings were starting to recede, our beer still hit the spot with its golden flavour.

We had planned to eat somewhere along the way, and The Sportsman seemed a good bet. Being part of the Ember Inns chain, the pub provides superior food to Wetherspoons (although not quite as homely as those pubs which break free from the chain concept altogether). Ignoring the fancier sections of the menu, we both selected steak & ale pie with chips.

However, when the food arrived, the chips were nowhere to be seen: we both received steak & ale pie with mashed potato. Now, I like to think of myself as a reasonably level-headed person, but replacing the best form of potato (chips) with one of the worst (mash) should be a hanging offence. In true British fashion I said nothing, but deep down I was wishing irreversible harm upon the waiter and all of his family.

However, there is no doubt that Pubquest will have the last laugh: the negative publicity The Sportsman will receive after we name and shame them to an audience of millions will almost certainly put them out of business.

Pub: The Sportsman (57 Benty Lane, S10 5NF)

Rating: 6.5/10

Beer: Summer Lightning

Brewery: Hop Back Brewery (Downton, Wiltshire)

NEXT UP: A photo opportunity, at the Crosspool Tavern...