Pub 108, Day 41 – Cricketers' Arms

By Andy

Leaving the Sentinel, we followed the crowd towards the bright lights of Bramall Lane. We had already attempted to complete the pubs around the ground once before, but on that occasion we had visited on a non-matchday, so a couple of the lesser venues were closed (why bother opening for two customers on Thursday when you're guaranteed 500 on Saturday?)

After pussyfooting about at the Sentinel (a full 400 yards away from the stadium), our next stop was the Cricketers (approximately 5 yards away). Along the way though, we encountered a familiar problem: food. Having not eaten at the Sentinel because it was too busy, we were heading to venues where the 'menu' is a choice between salt & vinegar or cheese & onion.

Blissfully, we encountered Kosta's, a Greek takeaway on the corner of Shoreham Street. They even boasted a range of 'football wraps', packed with meat, salad and chips (apparently it's a Greek delicacy). Always keen to sample new cuisines (keener still to stuff our faces with greasy food), we promptly ordered two Chicken Souvlaki wraps.

As they were being made, it came to my attention that in a small glass frame behind the counter, taking pride-of-place, was the unmistakeable work of my dad.

A bit of background information: my dad is a journalist.

Somewhere along the way though, his career path went awry, and instead of becoming the BBC's Middle Eastern correspondent, he found himself performing the equally important journalistic duty of writing takeaway reviews for a local newspaper.

I knew I had to act quickly. It was time to dust off a classic trick I had first learnt at school: make friends with the people who serve you food.

“My dad wrote that,” I announced, unprompted. I might even have shown him my ID to flaunt the matching surnames.

“Giorgos! Get down here!” shouted my server through a back door I hadn't even noticed.

After a quick conversation in Greek, the staff members rushed over.

“Tell your dad he is a hero! Before this article, no one in Sheffield knew of Kosta's, after this I had to hire more staff!” said the first, clasping my hand with excitement.

“If your dad comes down here he has free food, any day, any time,” announced the other. “Free food for life!”

The contrast between my dad's iconic status in Kosta's and our own abysmal attempt to boost publicity for the Sentinel was not lost on me.

Our connections meant not only did we receive the food for free, but we had to decline goody bags (“give these to your dad”), as I was unsure how the patrons of the local pubs would greet two newcomers carrying hummus and tzatziki.

With fond farewells, we set off to the Cricketers' Arms, munching our wraps along the way (they were fantastic). The Cricketers is a small pub (particularly so on matchdays), directly opposite the football ground. Predictably, the insides were covered in United paraphernalia, documenting the club's history. The drinks on offer were consistent with a landlord who knows that people will drink at the venue regardless.

We went for Stones Cold, which at least is cheaper than its competitors. The pub was exactly what I was expecting: fine if you want a quick pint before the game, pointless to visit for any other reason.

I try to say something nice about every pub we attend, so here's my compliment for the Cricketers' Arms: it pleases me that they haven't changed the pub's name (cricket was last held at Bramall Lane in 1975). In that sense the pub is a relic of Bramall Lane's past, and its name has no doubt confused a few away fans over the years.

Not that I'd recommend away fans drink in the Cricketers...

Pub: Cricketers' Arms (106 Bramall Lane, S2 4RD)

Rating: 4/10

Pint: Stones Cold

Brewery: Molson Coors Brewing Company (Tadcaster, North Yorkshire)

NEXT UP: Visionary thinking, at Sheaf House...