Pub 140, Day 52 – The Harlequin

By Andy

Real Madrid vs Barcelona; Republicans vs Democrats; Muhammad Ali vs Joe Frazier – when two heavyweights collide, the world is captivated.

Today was such an occasion: for the first time in history, Sheffield Pubquest would be meeting Sheffield Ale Pubs.

Such was the clamour for ringside seats that we were tempted to keep the venue a secret, lest it be overrun by rival hooligans, proudly declaring their support for one blog over the other.

In the end we relented, and revealed the exact date, venue and time to both sets of Twitter followers. Fortunately for The Harlequin, the resulting mad rush to town must have caused major gridlock on the roads, as we arrived to find just one man in the pub, sat patiently in the corner with a notepad in front of him.

Having arrived slightly late, we kept our comrade waiting a few minutes longer by deliberating over our drink – a tough decision between something we would enjoy (a run-of-the-mill pale ale), or something which sounded rank but we would never encounter again (ginger and chilli cider). Predictably, we ignored all of our instincts and went for the latter.

Pete was a fantastic, affable guy – I was a bit worried beforehand that it would feel like an awkward first date, but after a few sips of our cider (which just tasted like apples to be honest) we were chatting away about beer, pubs, and how Rob is pathetic at darts and he didn't deserve to beat me at the Big Tree but it's OK because I've accepted defeat and it doesn't even bother me anymore but look Rob, there's a dartboard, over there in the corner, do you want a rematch? Oh right yeah, that's not why we came.

Pete's first question was how Pubquest started, so I told him the heart-warming tale of how I began trying to visit every pub in Lancaster with my friend Josh (while students at Lancaster University), but, like a foetus who murders his twin in the womb, I relocated the entire thing to Sheffield upon graduation, brutally axing Josh for local lad Rob.

Cue stunned silence from Pete. I think he was expecting a happier story. I gulped some cider to fill the void. With each and every sip it began to taste more like a three-day-old Chinese takeaway.

Pete found his rhythm again, channelling his inner Michael Parkinson.

“So when did you first begin drinking ale?”

I let Rob answer this one. He told the story of our teenage trips to the Hollin Bush, where the landlord had a different ale on every week (which was quite a big deal in those days). And how when we revisited several years later for Pubquest, there was a new landlord, just two beers to choose from, and an incredibly racist customer. Why do all our stories have such sombre endings?

Agreeing to save a few of the tougher questions for the next venue, Pete enquired as to how we rated The Harlequin. Like many before him, he was making the classic error of assuming we agonise over our rankings. Luckily, I used to work near The Harlequin, so I had visited many times on my lunchbreak after work, enabling me to review the pub a bit more thoroughly.

Pros:

• An incredible (bordering on ridiculous!) selection of ciders – there were 14 to choose from during our visit, and The Harlequin was duly awarded CAMRA Sheffield's cider pub of the year for 2016 & 2017
• a dartboard (a dying breed in modern pubs)
• a relatively unknown beer garden

Cons:

• I don't like cider so it's all a bit wasted on me
• I'm not very good at darts
• It's never sunny in Sheffield

A few things for the landlord to work on there then.

Another plus: on certain weekday lunchtimes, the pub offers a £3 meal deal, which it proudly proclaims is “better than Tesco”. The deal gets you a sandwich, some crisps and a soft drink, and I am reliably informed by my friend (the one who used to visit on his lunchbreak) that you can upgrade to a pint for a bit more cash.

With Pete suitably impressed by my review, I downed the last few sips of my cider – by this point my mouth was on fire and it felt like I had been munching on raw ginger. What a thoroughly unpleasant drink.

A courtesy email we sent to Twitter to inform them of the
spike in activity they were bound to see. As the day went off
without incident, we can only assume they heeded our advice.

Pub: The Harlequin
(108 Nursery Street, S3 8GG)

Rating: 8.5/10

Pint: Maverick ginger and chilli cider

Brewery: Orchard Pig
(West Bradley, Somerset)

Visit Pete's Sheffield Ale Pubs blog here.
See his write-up of our meeting here.

NEXT UP: The interview continues, at The Riverside...