Sunday 11 June 2017

Pub 137, Day 51 – Everest

By Rob

Continuing our attempt to visit every pub/polling station on election day, we headed to the Everest in Handsworth. The penultimate stop on our list, it wasn't too far from the White Rose and we arrived in good time.

Slap bang in the middle of a housing estate, the pub looked pretty drab and dreary from the outside. It wasn't much better on the inside, either. There was a slightly shabby taproom to the left of the main doors, which hosted a few local punters, some worn furniture, and two newly arrived Pubquestrians.

Andy, putting on a brave face
The drinks selection on the bar was every bit as lamentable as it was predictable, being extremely modest in scope. We scanned the pumps and, to our dismay, found that we'd already drank one of each. With no other options available to us, we went for Kopparberg Mixed Fruit. Of course, one bottle doesn't quite add up to a pint, and so we ended up taking three of the bastards back to the table.

Sat there, sipping our sugary syrup, we'd already written off this visit as a bad job. As anticipated, the cider was unpleasant and in possession of no redeeming features. However, just as we were about to down our drinks in a desperate bid to leave, my eyes spied something.

Something green.

Something table-like.

Was this a mirage? Like the oceans of water that appear to dying men in the desert?

Rushing into the next room, we found a three-quarter size snooker table. I ran my hand along the baize. This was no mirage.

I was losing heavily in the Pubquest pool competition, to the point where I was starting to fear that I'd never claw it back. Andy was miles ahead, and he was better than me.

But snooker was a different story. As things stood, we were neck and neck, and unlike at pool, Andy didn't have his vastly superior skills to fall back on.

The coin went into the box, the cues were lifted, the chalk administered.

The game began with a poor break from me. The reds split apart and the white didn't make it back past the baulk line. If I'd been playing against a pro, it would've been game over.

But me and Andy weren't quite at that level.

What followed was a typically scrappy frame of small breaks and big fouls, our enthusiasm for the game far outstripping our ability to play it.

Eventually the match reached its end. I potted pink then black and, with those shots, took the lead in the Pubquest snooker competition.

The quality of play wasn't quite at the level seen in the Crucible. Of course, the venue wasn't quite at the same level either. It's very rare that you see spectators at the Crucible staggering around the table, offering 'helpful' tips to the players while spilling JD and coke all over the floor.

Overall, it was a pretty shabby pub with an unimpressive range of beers, but the surprisingly well kept snooker room salvaged it for us.

Everest snooker score: Andy 0-1 Rob
Pubquest snooker score: Andy 4-5 Rob

Pub: Everest (44 Ballifield Drive, S13 9HS)
Rating: 5/10
Brewery: Kopparberg (based in Kopparberg, Sweden)

NEXT UP: The exit poll beckons, at The Belfry...

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